Oh sure, I was happy. Proud of my fellow countrypeople. I even teared up a bit watching the reveling and the speeches. It seemed a new day had dawned.

Then I checked out the results of ballot initiatives in Florida, Arkansas, Arizona, and California ... and it was like 2004 all over again. Had anything really changed?

In Florida and Arizona, where they already had laws on the books stating that marriage could only be between one man and one woman, they voted to ALSO amend their state constitutions to include this definition. The reason? To protect the law from being overturned. It wasn't enough to have a law barring two loving people from joining in a union everyone else has access to, they also had to go and make sure that that law could never be changed. And it passed! In two states!

In Arkansas, they had a law barring unmarried persons from adopting children or becoming foster parents. Someone sued, and the Supreme Court decided that that was indeed unfair (it was a UNANIMOUS decision, btw). Well the people couldn't have that, so they put it to a vote and put the law right back where it had been. This isn't explicitly a law against gay people since it's barring ANY unmarried people from adopting children, but it's obviously aimed at that crowd.

And perhaps most famously, the voters in California decided that they weren't going to accept the ruling of their court either, and told all those loving gay couples, many of whom had waited decades to marry each other, that it was all for naught. Talk about a slap in the face.

In many ways I feel the Arkansas vote is the most disgusting. Though I don't understand it, I'm not too personally offended at people telling me I don't have the right to commit myself to my partner the way that they do. But saying that being gay is something so horrible that it will corrupt future generations if we let allowng them to adopt? They might as well spit on us. Or ship us all out to another state. The cry of "won't somebody please think of the children!" is supposed to be a joke on the Simpsons, not a real plea to make me feel like I'm a corrupting heathen.

I also don't quite understand the ways of this country. One of my friends wrote "We are a country of the people and by the people, and we should remain that way." But we elect our representatives in government to REPRESENT us -- to be educated on the issues and make the decisions that we all don't have the time or expertise to be able to make. These representatives appoint judges who they feel will appropriately defend our rights and freedoms. I don't know about you all, but I think ALL of the judges on all of the supreme courts of all 50 states are WAY smarter than me, and toil over these things before coming to an educated, well-reasoned conclusion. I don't always agree with them, but I agree with the system that put them there, and I respect them.

So why is it that we can just decide that we're not going to accept what they say and do it on our own? Forgive me if I trust the judgment of the Arkansas and California Supreme Courts before I trust the collective judgment of the people of those states. I don't want Bob and Nancy from down the street deciding if they think I should be able to get married or have children. I want someone who's job it is to be an EXPERT on human rights and the laws of our land to make that judgment. People talk about "activist judges," but they only consider a judge an "activist" when they make a ruling that the person doesn't agree with. It's more about ACTIVISTS in general, lobbyists and people in certain positions of power who can gather things together, get a bunch of signatures, and overturn whatever they want.

When I was 18, both of the Twin Cities where I grew up were reviewing laws that would make it illegal to discriminate against someone based on their sexual orientation. This was a HUGE controversy at the time, in 1995. I remember friends from Chicago saying to me, "Are you serious?! How backwards is this town?" Then, eight years later, we had Karl Rove's masterful plan to make everyone fight against gay marriage. And here, four years after that, we're still dealing with it, as I'm sure we will for decades to come.

The saddest part to me is that I was so happy, so proud, so inspired by our country's huge willingness to elect Barack Obama. I thought, wow, people are really turning around, coming to their senses, looking at things more rationally. And now I don't feel that way at all.

I know, it's a sliding scale, so to speak. It will take a looooong time. As a wise friend said, it's now 40 years after MLK jr's assassination, and we're just now getting a black president. But I'm not asking for a gay president yet. I'll wait until 2050 for that. I just want rights. Basic human rights. Not a special classification as a civil union or domestic partnership or something. The same rights you have. I don't get special classification for being gay, so you shouldn't have it for being straight.

And so now I'll try to be patient, and wait for the day, years from now, when this will all seem like such ridiculousness.

My first vlog!

Edward Albee's Occupant
Signature Theatre Company at The Peter Norton Space
Off-Broadway
Highly Recommended

"This is my first interview with a dead person."
"Well this is my first interview since being dead."

The interviewee is the great American sculptor Louise Nevelson (though that three-word summation is questionable, at least in her mind), and the interviewer is The Man, a name we would expect to find in almost any Albee character list. Over two hours we hear the fascinating tale of Ms. Nevelson's life, as told by herself to both The Man and the audience. Albee has broken the fourth wall here, having both characters speak to the audience - often asking direct questions (usually met with silence, I'm sad to say, though one man in the front row gamely raised his hand when we were asked if we knew who Sholem Aleichem was) - though not so often as to be distracting to the main story.

Academy Award-winning actress Mercedes Ruehl, who was so phenomenal in Albee's "The Goat" a few seasons back, is almost unrecognizable in this role as she fully envelops herself in Ms. Nevelson's persona. Though I have never seen any footage of Ms. Nevelson myself, I was told by my companion that she had the mannerisms spot-on. Though that may be, it never felt like an impersonation, a feat that can only be attained by a truly gifted actor (such as Helen Mirren in "The Queen"). Dressed in a couple of giant brightly colored robes, with two sets of sable eyelashes attached to each lid, Ms. Ruehl's performance was, to me, most reminiscent of a slightly over-the-top Elaine Stritch: bold and brazen, defiantly confident, but with a tender core. And while a few lines were flubbed or stepped on here and there (in the third week of previews), it almost didn't matter because the entire thing was so comfortably conversational that it all seemed utterly natural.

And that is what I love about Albee at his best. His writing is so clever and so biting, and yet it's never obvious there was a clever writer behind the lines. It is all SO natural and SO fitting in regular conversation patterns, it really was as if we happened to be at Inside the Sculptors Studio or some such in-depth interview. (For this production, directed by Pat McKinnon, Albee "revisited" his 2001 script). Larry Bryggman, as the well-prepared Man, was a perfect questioner, always on point to see through the storytelling and get the heart of what is actually The Truth. And that is what "The Occupant" is truly about, after all. Who is the legend, and who is the real woman? Where does Louise Nevelson - or any of us - end, and the simple occupant of a room begin?

Tulips on Park Avenue at 60th Street


Street art in SoHo - "You" with a mirror


Nelson waiting for the train


Is it wrong to surreptitiously take a picture of a cute guy on the subway? (and is it REALLY wrong to post it online?)

1. My username is _____ because ____.
My username is 'kumquatboy.' It's a long a potentially boring story, but here goes. In 1993, Bette Midler played Mama Rose in a TV movie of Gypsy for CBS. This was my first exposure to the musical, and the song "Mr. Goldstone" contains the line, "Have a kumquat, have two." I had never heard of a kumquat before, but it immediately stuck in my head as one of those funny sounding words great for comedy. Later that year, I was in the first meeting of a group I was in, and as a get-to-know-each-other exercise, we were supposed to go around the room and say our first name followed by a food that shared the same first letter with the first letter of our first name. Before it got to me, there was a Brenda Bean and a Brian Banana. At the time, my head could not figure out another 'b' food, so when it got to me, I said "Brian Big Kumquat." It was, of course, met with many laughs, and several of the group members started calling me "The Big Kumquat." About a year later we got our first computer at home and I had to come up with an AOL screenname. I figured it was best to use some sort of nickname, but the only one I could come up with was Big Kumquat. Even though I hadn't really been on the internet much, I knew that was going to carry possible private-parts connotations, so I just focused on the kumquat end. I added my favorite number to the end and was 'kumquat38.' When I moved out of my parents' house and started using a friends' AOL account, I morphed to the rather stupid 'kumquatish.' When I moved again and got my own AOL account, I was 'kumquat19' (half of 38, though it was also my age at the time). Something happened with that account and I had to start yet another one. I was lamenting over the sn decision to one of my roommates when he said, "I don't know why you don't just use 'kumquatboy.'" Duh! So, I did. And have been ever since. For many years I owned kumquatboy.com, and I even once had a license plate that read KQBOY 38.

2. My name is _____ because ______.
My name is Brian James Heck. Why Brian? I have no idea. James was for my maternal grandfather, whom I never met as he lived in Arizona and died when I was a young child. I have no idea where Heck comes from (and answer with an honest ignorance when people ask my nationality/background), though it sounds possibly German, and the word "hecke" means shrubbery, so maybe I come from landscapers.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
My journal is titled "Only the Ones Who Believe." It's a line from the Bette Midler song "Color of Roses," whose refrain is "Only the ones who believe/ever see what they dream/ever dream what comes true." I saw her sing this song at a 2000 benefit concert in Newark before it was ever released on CD and she dedicated it to the woman who ran the charity, adding that extra "oomph" behind the message. I suppose I named my journal that in the hopes that it would remind me to believe and move forward with my dreams, though, of course, I never feel like I'm actually doing that.

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
My friends page is called "Friends" because that's what it is.

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
My default userpic is a recent shot of myself because I realized that I liked it when I'm reading other people's comments and posts and I get to see what they look like. If I'm only going to see my friends virtually, then I like to actually see THEM from time to time. :)

Let's not even beat around the bush on this one. I saw the trailer for this movie, in which several half naked oily muscle boys beat the living shit out of each other, and I couldn't wait. I didn't expect anything good. I just expected some hot eye candy.


Unfortunately, this movie was more along the lines of The Karate Kid. Sean Faris plays Jake Tyler, a midwestern high school football player (who really does look like he came right off my high school football team) who keeps getting in fights because he blames himself for the death of his father, whom he let drive home drunk one night. Jake, mom and little bro relocate to Orlando so little bro can enroll in a Tennis Academy, and within the first week Jake is "discovered" at school for his fighting ability, which is apparently all over YouTube. They like fighting in Orlando. A lot, apparently. So much so that at parties, they just form a ring and beat the living daylights out of each other.


Cam Gigandet (The O.C.), who has one of the most gorgeous physiques I've ever seen, plays Ryan McCarthy, the city's leading Beatdown-er. And he just can't have some hot head stroll in and steal his thunder. So there's a challenge that goes out, and suddenly Jake finds himself studying mixed martial arts so he stands a chance of ever beating Ryan. When I first saw Djimon Hounsou (In America, Amistad) on screen as Mr. Miyagi ... I mean, Jean Roqua ... I thought, what the hell is he doing in this?! I know the role calls for a large, built imposing yet grounded man, but surely he just needed the paycheck. As the film went on, I was glad he was there, because at least I got to see some good acting (cliched as it was) through that LONG STRETCH WITH NO SHIRTLESS GUYS FIGHTING. You see, the two fighting matches you see in the trailer are almost the only fighting scenes in the film. The rest of the time you get to see Jake deal with his rage and Jean teach him how to be a real man. Blah.

There's also a promising comic turn from Evan Peters (Invasion) as the new best friend who gets Jake into the gym to begin with, and a love story where Ryan's girl decides she wants Jake instead, natch. All in all, it's a poor remake of The Karate Kid that is only made bearable if you enjoy hot guys fighting. I do, but I still wish I had waited for the DVD and just watched those two scenes.

So I heard that earlier tonight a certain 70 year old Academy Award-winning actor asked my 24 year old colleague if she sleeps with married men. Ummmmmmm .... gross?!

from

Here's how it works:
1. Go to www.flickr.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box
3. Use only the first page
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.


1.Whats your first name?



2.What is your favorite food?



3.What school do/did you go to?



5.What is your favorite color?



6.Who is your celebrity crush?



8.Who is your favorite disney prince/princess?



9.Favorite drink?



10.Dream Vacation?



11.What is your favorite dessert?



12.What do you wanna be when you grow up?



13.What do you love most in life?



14.One word to descibe you?



15.What do you dream about?

Well, my OCD hit fever pitch this year. Of the 62 films nominated for Academy Awards, I've seen 56 of them (90%). That includes all the documentary features and all of the short subjects (animated, live action & documentary). The only ones I haven't seen are three movies that haven't been released here yet (all Foreign Language nominees) and three that I missed in theaters that aren't on DVD yet. (The Golden Compass (Art Direction, Visual Effects), Lars and the Real Girl (Original Screenplay) and August Rush (Original Song).) Why have all seen all these? Because an informed decision is the best decision ... or at least I hope so.

Best Picture
Will win: No Country for Old Men
Should win: There Will Be Blood
I guess I just didn't get No Country like everyone else did. It was intriguing and well made, but also crazy confusing, and it sticks in my head more for that than for all of the good things.

Best Actor
Will/Should Win: Daniel Day-Lewis
Has he ever not been phenomenal? Just phenomenal!

Best Actress
Will Win: Julie Christie, with a possible upset from...
Should win: Marion Cotillard
Julie was great, but not a blowout. Marion's performance, on the other hand, is one you won't forget.

Best Supporting Actor
Will win: Javier Bardem
Should win: Tom Wilkinson
Tom is like a lower form of Daniel, he's almost always amazing, as he was in Michael Clayton.

Best Supporting Actress
Will/Should win: Cate Blanchett
A really stunning performance in a crazy-ass movie. there could be an Amy Ryan or Tilda Swinton upset, but I'm gonna follow my gut on this one.

Animated Film
Will/Should win: Ratatouille
Though I will see Surf's Up was VERY good, and Persepolis was beautiful, though ultimately a trifle.

Art Direction
Will/Should win: Sweeney Todd
I mean, have you seen it? Duh.

Cinematography
Will win: No Country for Old Men, with a possible upset from ...
Should win: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
I mean, the first half of Diving Bell takes place from the main character's point of view! You even see his eye get sewn up from inside his head! That is not easy stuff to shoot.

Costume Design
Will/Should win: Elizabeth: The Golden Age, with a possible upset from Sweeney Todd
Both were perfect for the films, but Elizabeth's dresses were crrrrrrazy!

Directing
Will win: Joel & Ethan Cohen for No Country
Should win: Julian Schnabel for Diving Bell
A truly unique vision that was daring and paid off.

Documentary Feature
Will/Should win: No End in Sight
Though all of them were good, especially the very uplifting and heartfelt War/Dance.

Documentary Short
Will/Should win: Freeheld
The other three were all kind of week, and this one is about a lesbian dying of cancer. Tears, people!

Editing
Will/Should win: The Bourne Ultimatum, with a possible upset from No Country

Foreign Lanuague Film
Will/Should win: The Counterfeiters, especially since it's the only contender to get a major US release so far. The only other one I saw was Beaufort, which was kind of dull.

Makeup
Will/Should win: La Vie En Rose
Taking a woman from 19 to 47 wins out over fat suits and pirates any day.

Score
Will/Should win: Atonement
Like that typerwriter clacking to the beat didn't stick in your head? Very effective.

Song
Will/Should win: "Falling Slowly" from Once
Watch the film and then tell me that song isn't better and has more of an impact than any of the throwaways from Enchanted.

Animated Short
Will win: I Met the Walrus
Should win: Peter & the Wolf
Peter was a crowd pleaser, so it may be an upset win, but I think people will go with the frentic energy and nostalgia of Walrus.

Live Action Short
Will/Should win: At Night
This is a really hard one to pick because they were all so good. In the end, I have to choose the sad beauty of In Night over the hilarious Mozart of Pickpockets and Tanghi Argentini. But really, this is a tossup.

Sound Editing
Will/Should win: Transformers
I mean, it has the flashiest most inventive sounds, right?

Sound Mixing
Will win: Transformers
Should win: No Country for Old Men
The best thing that sticks with me about No Country is the silence ... and the sound of that tank. It could upset Transformers.

Visual Effects
Will win: Transformers
Should win: I have no earthly idea. I didn't like the CGI on Transformers, but Pirates didn't wow me either and I didn't see Golden Compass.

Adapted Screenplay
Will win: No Country for Old Men
Should win: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Even though it's in French ... stunning!

Original Screenplay
Will/Should win: Juno
Duh.